When the technician came
in his clippy bright blue suit
I was happy and smiling
and proudly showed him
where our telephone was

but then you called
and your voice turned his suit
a dull, worn grey
and my smile opened
and tangled telephone wires
spilled from my chapped lips

and the technician saw this
and felt sorry for me
because you can't fix tangles

I cried
and the tears stained my face
red, in an embarrassing way
I wrote novels about
the hurt and my broken lungs
but all you gave were flat critiques
that only bumped my surface
and now I don't now what to do
because my face is stained
and those don't come out easily.

when you saw me see you

I want to catch you
but you pretend not to see me
closing your eyes like an
umbrella snapping
shut
spitting
the dregs of old rain
in my face.
Too bad its raining outside
like silent murder.
I want to touch you
and lay my head
upon you wet shoulder.
But one step forward
one step back
and
I can't move/so/help/me.

The day that I left home

You were beautiful
that one time
I took a picture of you
wearing dad's old cowboy hat
and leaning out the window
with the breeze.
I took your picture,
freezing forever
your toothy smile
and the dusty smell
of our overrun backyard.

You were beautiful
that one time
we sat on our front lawn,
the big pine tree protecting us
from the summer heat.
You told me you had a
secret and I had to promise
to tell no one,
not even the big pine tree or
mama's thorny roses.
I told you I wouldn't
If you wouldn't.

You were beautiful
that one time
before I left home for good
and I kissed you on your head
and your eyes were filled
with more secrets and stories
I didn't know.
I was scared and terrified of this
but you waved goodbye
like I would be back
tomorrow.

You were gone
that one time
I came back home
and you were sitting on the couch.
Your limbs had stretched
and your hair had grown so long,
that i couldn't see your eyes.
When you talked to me
it was like a badly recorded tape,
scratchy and hard to hear.
I was scared and terrified of
this person
and when I asked
him if he had told anyone
your secrets
he replied yes,
the day that I left home.

Today I Watched the Moon Explode

gently into pieces
falling into shiny red cups
filling them with scintillating beer--
Under the dull Christmas lights
You looked angelic,
for once.
And you drank the moon
In all it glory
You drank and gulped it down
So greedily,
That the sun
Never came up.

My Fair-Weathered Friend

My heart goes out to you
my Fair-weathered friend
For all the things you put me through
Up and til the end
You showered me in chocolates
Watched me melt in the sky
Then you kissed me very daintily
As you said goodbye.

Please Come Before The Show

I break my heart on glass
trying to feel this love
Pressing my face against closed doors
In some hope of recovering lost words
I'm pulling at the walls
To see if they will feel my drag
And I can't cry,
because nobody will want me if I cry
So I have a million hours to think of
You and think of that.

maybe

They'll sit in the bright light
pondering about how many steps make the porch steps
when really, there are three
Or arguing about how many grass blades are in the lawn
when really, there are too many to count
Sometimes they'll even complain about the lack of sun to warm their warm skin
when really, its enough to just have the sun.

I want to go to Queen St.
I want to fall asleep in its overwhelming smells and concrete
Feel the people brushing past on subways and sidewalks
Hold its old air in my hands and let the music lift me up
I want to drink in the Horseshoe Tavern once more
Meet people with tall tales over cold drinks in warm hands
I want the city lights to fill my head until I'm dizzy
I want its antiquity and love to fall on me.

Love Letters

today is too early in the morning
you hit your knee up the stairs
i would kiss it
like paper hearts and pinky swears
press my lips against your stubbly face
though I'm more interested in the morning