when you saw me see you

I want to catch you
but you pretend not to see me
closing your eyes like an
umbrella snapping
shut
spitting
the dregs of old rain
in my face.
Too bad its raining outside
like silent murder.
I want to touch you
and lay my head
upon you wet shoulder.
But one step forward
one step back
and
I can't move/so/help/me.